Who art thou, reading this, reading my thoughts? You're definitely not me! I know eventually I'll get bold enough to make this website public, so I ask you again: who are you? what do you like? dislike? is this the first post of mine you've ever clicked on, or are you a regular customer? what do you think of me?
I know I'll eventually get bold enough to make this website public, and therein lies the problem, my friend:
I write for others, I write knowing this might be read by strangers, or worse, people I know. That is such a presumptuous and delusional thought! but, nonetheless, my freedom of speech is limited by it. I hardly ever touch on more personal (possibly disconcerting) topics even though I know it would only do me good to put my thoughts in words.
I should write for myself.
As far as I see it, this "experiment" can only go one of three ways:

This stays mine

I start writing more about the private, important stuff, promising to myself it will never be published. My ego will take the hurt in favour of a mythologically better state of mind resulting from this therapeutic behaviour.

This becomes yours

I start writing about the private stuff but I also grow a pair and publish all of it. Who cares. Nobody will ever read it anyway.

One for you, one for me

I start writing about the private stuff on a different platform. I make two websites: one for you and one for me.
This last option gives evil plan vibes and I low-key like it.

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P.S. This sudden need to write in English is either a way to dissociate from myself or the result of listening to Taylor Swift on repeat this last couple of days. (boy, that can never be made public!)