My phone as a productivity tool

I'm no longer a fan of this word, productivity. Far too many self-proclaimed internet gurus are using it to describe impossible (if not fake) methods to get more stuff done.

You know, I just realized there's not much I like about the current state of the internet, or the world, for that matter. I would not want to live in a reality without the internet, yet I'm pretty sure there are countless better ways We could have handled the web, without turning it into a profit-oriented land of bots, influencers, and divisive, attention-grabbing content.

By the way, I kind of love how whenever I sit down to write about something, I almost always get sidetracked by other topics. It's a testament to the quantity of thoughts I have bottled up inside. It sounds arrogant, like "ooh look! look how many thoughts i have, and on soo many topics!". It is actually the premise of a scary realization: I don't think anymore, I stopped pondering, reflecting, deciding, having opinions. I just consume music, books, movies, blogs, ..., all day long. I'd do anything to keep my mind distracted.
The worst part is, I'm getting worse at that too. I have no strength to look for new movies, no interest in new tv shows (I keep re-watching random episodes of Modern Family and Community), and music has slowly become a background noise — even now, writing this, I have the marvelous Joni Mitchell playing but I've not given her a single thought until this moment.

What has become of me? An empty shell that used to fill himself with random stuff and now has lost the will power to do that too.
I'm tired. And I'm tired of using "I'm tired" as an excuse for my present condition! I'm wasting my days.

When I look at what I write I feel pity for this blog, I'd wish for it to be a happier place, collecting nice memories and interesting words, instead of this sad, boring stuff. Nonetheless, I feel grateful such a place exists, where I can write whatever I'm feeling without fearing any judgement.
This too shall pass, and I'm sure I'll pivot to nicer content.

But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer.

I don't want to write about my phone anymore. It doesn't feel right.
I'll leave the title, though. Accuse me of click-baiting, I don't care.